breakable ...

... now that I recall how my life was like... I don't remember a time when I felt well and ok ... health wise I mean ... there was always something wrong...the flue ... the knee problem....the stress... the huge to do list that was always so disproportionate with the time scheduled for it...which made me feel so out of energy...so unable... and that was frustrating...besides... working with people put some limits to your behavior and your responses... the best to do is to let whatever happens passes through you... as if it happened to someone else....it is nice... it is an anti-fight mechanism... it makes you look good and civilized... usually people judge your behavior even if it a reaction to an aggression that you were subjected to....so ...keeping that masked face.. that cold smile... it is a lot easier this way...and it is also so energy consuming.... only now I realize how a strong person I was... I didn't let any of what happened break me.... I am not breakable after all... I mean I was not breakable...